Tag Archives: coming out

An App for British Asian LGB?

Standard

 

allout_image_6117_full (2)Denise Lau, a Sheffield Hallam Graphic Design student is currently working on a project to increase visibility of British Asian lesbian, gay and bisexual lives.

After doing some preliminary research she’s looking at designing a concept app aimed at Asian LGB communities to share coming out experiences. There may be up to 6 stages of coming out-ness to acceptance on the app.

Denise has designed an online survey to better understand her target audience. If you’re interested and have 10 minutes, please participate. Please do forward this link to others too. The deadline to complete the survey is 9 December. Here’s a link to the survey.

Advertisements

Parents

Standard

Mother and childNowadays people say…

A straight friend of mine said she’d be cool with her daughter, who’s currently aged two, “if she grew up to be gay or anything else,” as it makes no difference to her whatsoever. “And it shouldn’t.”

But, isn’t there always, well let’s say often, a period of adjustment?

My mother expressed surprise, disbelief; she even thought I was joking in her confusion to understand. This was followed by shock, in fact a mighty blow! Whatever future she saw when she first held that baby close to her breast shattered in a moment… Leaving an apocalyptic vacuous residue…

There was a period of grief, for the future that will never be. And then the difficult feelings stirred, when she tried to comprehend what it all meant: being gay, having a gay son, what others would think?

Often time is a healer; often, but not always. Time allows for grieving. It allows for adjustment. Time, allows for love to heal.

I think my mother has tried to understand what having a gay son means, the way she knows best.

Parents too, of gay and bisexual children, are on a journey. They learn to experience their difficult feelings. They may talk to others, or not. They may try to become informed. They try to reason in their heads. They learn to live with it. And over time, it’s kind of OK. It’s not that bad. Bobby, is still Bobby.

Here are two dramatised parents’ perspectives as monologues interspersed together. Ravinder is a father being interviewed for a project. He talks about his daughter. Pooja is in a café with her son. Use headphones for the best quality experience.

Audio monologues: written by Carl Miller; performed by Dharmesh Patel and Rochi Rampal; Directed by Steve Johnstone and Kate Chapman; recorded and engineered by Adam McCready and produced by Bobby Tiwana. Supported using public funding by Arts Council England. Co-commissioned by GEM Arts.

Turning points

Standard

Last Saturday’s workshop was a privilege. After a gruelling week with not such brilliant sleep (during the week) I thought I might be running on empty by Saturday afternoon. However I did sleep reasonably well the night before.  On the day, it was cloudy with breaks of sunshine and a peculiar curving wind. I was calmly excited with anticipation for the workshop.

In terms of numbers it was modest and this did allow for more in-depth interaction and openness amongst the participants. The group was bold, generous and authentic, in fact even nurturing towards each other. My beloved Abhi participated too on this occasion, which was very useful in receiving a no holds barred critique afterwards. His comments were wholly positive.

Carl’s writing exercise is quite powerful. He takes you back to a significant turning point in your life making it vivid through his prompts – the use of senses, the time of year and day and so on. The group were scattered across the room busy writing: some on chairs, others laying on the floor or perched on the steps. Afterwards we sat in a circle and each shared an extract with the group. Here’s one from the session – an imagined letter to a father:

Dear Dad,

2007. December, Boxing Day.

You’re in India.

We’ve had dinner. Eastenders is on in the background. Half-heartedly we’re watching.

I had planned it this way, as you were away, so that I had mum to myself.

In theory, the plan was to tell her, and then you.

She thought I was joking…that it was an excuse not to get married.

“No, I’m gay!”

Apparently she was clueless. But what about mums knowing their sons and all that? What about the Gay Times incident at 16…?

Arena workshop participant – 22 June 2013.

Do you have a turning point to share?